how can that be? i've been going out every weekend, concerts, music festival, dinners, comedy shows, etc....HOW CAN I POSSIBLY BE BORED? well, i'll tell you how. i'm getting older and people around me are experiencing so much on their own (check) AND with their significant others. is it time? am i ready? is "he" (big question mark) ready? (if you could please define/locate "he" it would be greatly appreciated)
i've been out of a relationship for 15 months, give or take. just around how long i was single after my last relationship before the next one started (ish. all very approximate i'm too lazy to count and, well, think) i'm starting to feel like i'm ready to share myself with someone, in the emotional sense. before now, of course, i would sometimes feel lonely but i knew that i wasn't emotionally ready for another invested relationship. sure, i have plenty of well, um, not-really-emotionally relationships. but sitting here and recognizing that i just might be ready to invest myself into something...it's scary. scarily honest.
and i think it comes down to the fact that im lonely. there are so many people around me and this isn't some emo confession. i am happy. i really am. but i just want to share my happiness with someone else. and on the flip side, i want to vibe and feed off of someone else's happiness. man, i remember how good that feels.
anyways. it's only about..hm... 1/3 of the battle for me to "feel" ready. it's really up to God and the universe to decide when that person is going to come into my life. whether or not im going to actually let him in, and whether or not he'll actually be that positive light i'm looking to add to my life. (not make me who i'll be, but add to who i am and who i want to become)
oh. god. i'm getting old and sappy. at least it's not old and saggy... :)
-jnet
1 comment:
i literally LOLed at the old and saggy part because that's what i thought i read at first.
so you're ready? the question is, is HE ready for YOU?! watch out now :)
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