you know what i miss?

basketball.

 

it's weird because i haven't played in over ten years and by no means was i ever a great athlete.  i doubt i could even dribble now without falling over myself. and yet i can recall so clearly how good it felt. how good the pebbled rubber ball felt under my fingers, how good it felt to hear the fanatical parents cheering on the sidelines. how good it felt to run. back and forth. across the half court line, to the top of the key, under the basket, layup, rebound. running. always running. back to the other end of the court. again and again and again.

 

in retrospect, i don't even think it's the basketball that i miss.  it's the feeling of never wanting to stop. no matter how out of breath i was or how tired i felt... or even how badly we were losing, it just felt good to be in the game. there was never a time that i could remember thinking, "coach pull me out. i'm done." never. 

 

and to be perfectly honest, there have been a few occasions in my adult life that i've wanted to throw in the towel and walk away. days that i've had to shut everything off and lay in bed and just be very still... so that everything around me would stop spinning so fast and life could go on at its break neck pace without me for a few hours.

 

logically, being a child playing a 48 minute game of basketball isn't comparable to the daily responsibilities and obligations of an adult, but i hope that one day i'll have that feeling again. that something will move me so passionately that i'd never want it to stop.

[melvin]