On Friendship and Responsibility

------on friendship ------

It is such a strange and delicate thing. You can't live without your friends, but sometimes you could live without their decisions, actions, and inactions.

But I guess that's life. You learn to love- be flexible with your love, be abused by that love, and ultimately be understanding, everyone is different.

I just wish sometimes people weren't so one-sided. (I know that's something I have to work on.) And understand that yes, their life is their life, but as a friend...whatever you're going through, you can't just forget about your friends and leave them in the dark. Or should I be saying "friend" - singular?

Anyways, just more a note and realization that I need to let it be. And as much as I say I can't control the bitterness, it's something that I've just now realized...I have to. It's my duty as a friend, right?

----- on responsibility -----

I've been meaning to blog about my "cash advance" horror story but I've been so busy at work. I guess to sum it up, I think the reason I felt so emotional about the whole thing boils down to two things:

-I was on my . so of course I was over-emo.
-Ever since I had turned 25, I thought to myself that I was/had to be more mature, more on top of everything. (silly, right? but more the age just gave me an extra push, and it's a great thing I think...I've really been making a conscious effort to make smarter more responsible decisions) moving on... I had given myself pats on the back after reflecting on "how far I've come" and "how much more responsible I've become" - but then I did something that was so stupid...even though I really didn't know what I was doing. But I felt like I should have known...and then the mess got bigger and bigger and of course in the end, it wasn't as big a deal as I had thought it was. But bottom line, I messed up...and I needed help to get out.

Now, am I really one of those people who hates to be helped? No. But when I had to depend on someone financially because of a stupid decision/mistake, I felt irresponsible. For as long as I can remember, I have been financially independent, responsible with my finances. And to feel overwhelmed and unsure about my finances, just really scared me. Wake up call?

Fail.

(wearing the tegan and sara sweatshirt that got me into this mess. totally. worth. it.) jk